Easter

I had a really weird day today. It began with the hated -loud noise wakes you from a deep REM type sleep. I was instantly skyrocketed into a shit fit of epic proportions. That can be a tough thing to deal with first thing in the morning. I stormed around my house yelling at my favourite people for no particular reason. I gestured emphatically towards the kitchen sink and harumphed as loud as possible for a few furious minutes. I then saw a blanket out of the corner of my eye, and after tucking myself securely under it on the sofa remote in hand, I began to realize the error of my ways.  Oh how I hate to be wrong, unfortunately that happens a lot.
My husband sat down next to me and all I wanted was a hug or a quick snuggle, but instead I whispered obscenities at him whilst wiping dried drool from my cheek. I'm sure it was awful.
I actually remember saying to both him and my sister "I don't like jokes right now"
I always like jokes. That was so out of character.
I guess if this story needs a moral it would have to be  "don't fucking wake me up" or perhaps "don't listen to my words before 9:30 am" "hand over the cinnamon toast crunch and no one gets hurt". I will likely be in bed earlier tonight. Thats cool though because I have a new bed and I like it.

I also dog-sat today, my nephew Drayton and I went for a walk.

That's him, It's not his best angle or colour, but I feel too lazy to search all my photos for his most charming angle.  He shouldn't mind.  Anyways, Drayton and I were just leaving the house this afternoon when I was approached by two smiling seniors. They were dressed in their Sunday's best and had a warm glow about them. I later discovered that glow was actually being caused by a mixture of the slight yellow tint in my sunglasses and an amalgamation of liver spots. I approached them with no hesitation and they began to pet  the dog,  we exchanged niceties for a bit when all of a sudden out of nowhere Grandpa Jones sideswiped me with a Jesus name drop, also known as a 'J-Bomb' " Do you have a few minutes to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ ?" My mind began to race with sarcastic responses to his 'in your face' approach to religion, but I practised restraint, I was raised to respect my elders, so I almost had an epileptic seizure from the conflicting arguments coming from either side of my brain. On one hand I wanted to remind them how rude it is to essentially stalk people; begging them to hear you out about a dude who literally EVERYONE has heard of.  On the other hand these two lovely old farts were being polite to me- warning me of impending doom and trying to save me from Satan and his eternal hellfires. I ended up saying something like "Im busy on Easter... sorry" while I folded their charming pamphlet of old J-Dog into my pocket. I don't know how to not feel apathetic about religion, I see it as harmless. I know it's not however as fighting worldwide is mostly caused by religion and money. Here at home the worst we have is these Jehovas witnessess going door to door in their Sundays best being polite and slightly annoying.  I suppose it could be worse.

I used to know a couple of ladies who were Jehovas Witnesses, I worked with a mother- daughter combo. They were also very nice, they told me the in's and out's of their religion, I admit I barely listened to most of what they told me, but a few main points stick out to this day.

1.  They don't celebrate birthdays ( I think this must suck for the kids) Think of the Children!

2. No Christmas presents..........................need I say more?

3. In order to get into the church all newbies must recruit X amount of people into the flock ( This seems culty to me)

4. Only a small amount of "Gods Children" will make it into heaven, and they may already be there so you would be SOL 

I find it especially strange that Heaven has a capacity to these people, what is the alternative? Im actually pretty curious now that I've been rambling on about it (for research of course) I could be misinformed about the whole damn thing, but Im pretty comfortable in my decision to remain religion neutral and instead of confessing to some old dude in a stuffy old church, or soliciting door to door on Easter, I will instead be hosting a meal of BBQ'd salmon in my newly tidied back yard under the deep blue sky with my loved ones around me while we enjoy spring. Happy Easter to all you fookers.  

My sister and I spent yesterday evening learning how to photoshop shit, and I think we may have taken it a little far.